I cannot marry you

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Your eyes are alight
Quietly you watch
You wait
I turn my head
No.

I cannot marry you
I want too many things
Yes, you are one
But there is more.

I cannot keep you
I am too many people
And one day
We will get bored.

I fear for me
And you
Our hearts and sensibility
Skirting each other.

The butterflies are here
They flutter lightly and
Settle on the
Cold window sill.

I watch them as you wait
(For what?)
One leaves, flies away
And the other stays, alone.

I steal a look at you
Your eyes flicker
And I wonder
Did you get this?

I am that butterfly, Emma
I will find another perch
My wings will always twitch
But not you.

You are stable
You are safe
You are everything
I run from.

Your eyes are sad
I shake my head
Again
No.

I rise on watery knees
It is not the butterflies
In my stomach
It is the butterfly still resting
On the cold window sill

Alone.

You
Emma.

“Stop hiding. Stop running”
I turn and stare
As you speak
What?

“You’ll be married either way.”
I wait listening
What do you mean?
I cannot marry you.

You smile
“Come, dance with me,”
I shake my head
I cannot.

I want too many things
I am to many things
You cannot satisfy me
So, I leave.


 

I ended in the ballroom
I danced with Luci
I courted death
Going to them in your stead.

I had several lovers
No husbands
I lived on my terms
I was free, Emma.

I tasted all
A cocktail of flavours
I filled my face
Till there was no space.

Yet there was space
Emma, there was a hollow
Now I’m sitting in the dark
With Luci’s chains.

When I met Luci,
He promised I’d be free
But he lied
Emma, he lied.

The butterflies are here
I watch as they settle
One is left behind
Alone.

Me,
Emma.

I’m married, Emma
I didn’t plan to
But Luci married me
He’s my husband.

I smile sadly at the irony
I did marry either way
And now I know
There’s no middle road.


 

I’m now in your arms
I dance with you
I married you
Emma, I did.

There are no greys
So I choose you
I know that either way
I must belong to someone

I choose You.

My happily ever after
That’s you
My bridegroom and saviour
That’s you.

Your bride
That’s me
Yours
That’s me.

You bought me.

You’ve brought me
To your feast
Your banner is love
Over me. All around me.

Satisfied,
Forever.

Thank You, Emma.

 

Side Note:

Heyya!

So Forgiving God was supposed to be up today but it’s incomplete. It should be up tomorrow.

God’s grace.

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One thought on “I cannot marry you

  1. Samuel Imafidon says:

    Lovely… You can either be for him or against him. There’s no middle ground especially in these times.
    The title ” I cannot marry him” surely you couldn’t have found a better time for this title. 😂

    Like

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