Alright, so you are wondering, “what is she talking about? I don’t need to know how to sell my soul!” Well, I know but I thought, “We all know how to do things right, yet we never do it. So, what if someone taught us to do wrong, would we do right?” It sounds stupid, I know but I’m typing away anyways.
Ever seen books with titles like:

– Seven Laws of success.
– Five simple steps to make it BIG!
– Three easy ways to learn Rocket Science ?

Well, I have decided to make your life easy and put up five easy ways to sell your precious soul to the lowest bidder. I cannot guarantee its safety. Infact, if you  sell, you’re teetering dangerously on the edge of doom.  But if you still want to, here goes. 

  •  Ignore Salvation: This is certainly the easiest and most straight forward way to accomplish your goal. Ignore the Goodnews. Never EVER give your life to Christ. NEVER accept God’s forgiveness and justification. Because, after all, you wanna sell your soul to the lowest bidder. Right? You see a life raft, run like it’s the plague. Drown in your unbelief.
“There is no judgement against anyone who believes in Him. But anyone who does not believe in Him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son.” (John 3:16 NLT).
  • Forget what you received: To do this, just make sure you are saved first, ensure you have received the free gift of Salvation. Next, forget the gift you received and continue to live like a chained man. This is how it works,you were saved from slavery right? From sin and death, now just ensure you DON’T leave the cell. The shackles are down for the count, but take those same chains and cuff yourself. Ignore freedom. Sin without thinking. See? It’s soo easy.
  •   Don’t grow up: This is pretty much self-explanatory. Don’t talk to God, Ignore Him. Leave the instruction manual (the Bible). Continue to use the excuse of imperfection to hide your absolute lack of desire to grow. Keep your diapers and feeding bottles. Cry, whine, Sleep, Eat and crawl all day long. Easy bee.
  •          Lie to yourself: Yup that is soo easy to do. You know the right thing to do, you ignore it and try to convince yourself that it doesn’t matter. God is always ready to forgive you. Live YOUR life. Tell yourself you’ll get better tomorrow. Give room for foxes and convince yourself they are little. So, it really doesn’t matter. Delude yourself into thinking that Jesus isn’t really coming soon. He just said that to scare us. Ignore the warnings of the Holy Spirt. Tell yourself you can be a thief and seek the gift while ignoring the Giver. Allow the devil lie to you and tell yourself as many soul-selling lies as you can manage and your soul is sale ready!
  • Take my advice: The last and by all means least way to sell your oh-so-precious soul is to take all those my advice seriously. Do step 1 to 5 over and again and you are sold.
There! Easy enough inn’it?
Next is three easy steps to getting the buyers to pay up. We don’t want you selling your soul to the devil.
–       – Get a dictionary: The first thing to do to NOT sell your soul is to get yourself a very good    dictionary. Maybe a thesaurus too, if you wish.
 – Translate: Now, take every single word in the list above (Refer to “How to sell your soul”), and translate them to the EXACT opposite. Heard me? EXACT! Then get your sneakers and RUN for your dear soul.
–  Repeat:Step 3, repeat step one to five in “How to sell your soul” (translated version this time around).
But, trust me, you really don’t wanna sell your soul. You are precious and bought at a price. It will profit you nothing to gain the world and lose your soul.
Side Note :
I can’t remember what I drank when I wrote this. I think I need a vacation. Not school break but the kind featured by exotic beaches, saunas, continental dishes and lots of sleep.
But, seriously, I meant it (at least half of it). It’s very important you remember that the devil is seriously seeking for whom to devour and you are a target. Give God your all and they’d be nothing left to sell.

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